Everyone likes to have a laugh from time to time, dad jokes that are funny but when it comes to those classic dad jokes that you hear once in a while, dad jokes meaning they can either raise the roof, or bring the house collapsing down.
Whether you already have a whole host of dad jokes at your disposal to simply looking to find the corniest jokes, we have something for everyone. dad jokes meaning With that in mind, let us take a look at some of the best, dad jokes meaning corniest and funniest dad jokes around.
- What do you call two monkeys who share an Amazon account? Prime mates.
- What’s blue and not very heavy? Light blue.
- I told my wife she needs to start embracing her mistakes. So she hugged me.
- What’s a demon’s favorite handwriting style? Cursive.
- Where do bad rainbows go? Prism. It is just a light sentence.
- Why did Novak Djokovic pay for his flight to Australia with a Mastercard? Because his Visa didn’t work.
- What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.
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Who is the most lonely billionaire? Alone musk.
- I asked 10 people what LGBTQ stranded for… Couldn’t get a straight answer!
- What is the scariest tree? BamBOO!
- What’s an arsonist favorite holiday? The 4th of July. Because fireworks.
- My wife and I let astrology get between us. It Taurus apart.
- What do you call a coupon-using vampire? Suckers for deals!
- People are usually shocked when they find out… I’m a bad electrician.
- Why do standup comedians perform poorly in Hawaii? Because the audience only responds in a low ha.
- Why can’t you send a duck to space? Because the bill would be astronomical.
- I once got fired from a canned juice factory. Apparently I couldn’t concentrate.
- Where do you find a cow with no legs? Wherever you left it.
- Thinking of having my ashes stored in a glass urn. Remains to be seen.
- What do you call Bill Gates when he’s flying? A Bill-in-air.
Dad Joke
It takes a certain kind of humor to truly appreciate a good, solid dad joke in 2022. And by good, we obviously mean bad. Ridiculously bad. So bad that people are left shaking their heads. So bad that if any semblance of chuckling follows, it’s the awkward kind of laughter. The kind where bystanders, all at the same time, are making eye contact and looking for an exit. That’s how you know it’s a great dad joke. Fortunately, for those who appreciate such uncomfortable guilty pleasures in life, we have 100 of the best funny dad jokes to share with you!
- How do you get a blind person to see? Usually by boat.
- How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Caesars.
- What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper? A fizzician.
- Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
- My son got angry when I told him “Sky is the limit for you”.
He wants to be an astronaut. - Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.
- If sweet dreams are made of cheese… Who am I to dis-a-brie?
- What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle.
- Did you know that bees are actually allergic to pollen? They break out in hives.
- I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. I now have Heinz sight.
Funny Dad Joke
If you are the type of jokester who is known to nudge your pal in the ribs after making a quip, while asking, “Do you get it?”—you’re for sure in the right place! dad jokes that are funny Dad jokes aren’t just for the extroverted, dad jokes that are funny unconcerned fathers of the world. Instead, they’re for anyone who enjoys cringeworthy moments followed by someone in our lives begging for us to shut our mouths, because we’re “oh my gosh, so embarrassing.” Wear it with pride, dad jokes that are funny fellow cornballs! We lost the right to be referred to as cool long, long ago.
- I had a great joke about COVID… but I don’t wanna spread it around.
- What do you call Father Christmas in an orange suit? Fanta Claus.
- How did the pirate get his ship so cheap? It was on sail..
- What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? LMAYO.
- I’m starting a flight company exclusively for bald people, I’ll call it… Receding airlines.
- Did you hear about the cheese that’s been working out? Dude’s shredded
- What do you need to make a small fortune on Wall Street?
A large fortune.
- I used to hate facial hair…but then it grew on me.
- What did the big flower say to the tiny flower? “Hey there bud!”
- My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.
- What do you call an obese psychic? A four-chin teller.
- How does a non-binary samurai kill people? They/Them.
- Friend: “Bro, can you pass me that pamphlet?”
Me: “Brochure” - What do you call a mom who turns into a dad? Transparent.
- Whoever stole my depression medication: I hope you’re happy.
- I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.
Dad Joke Meaning
if your funny bone requires further tickling, check out some of our other favorites, such as the 100 best jokes ever collection of easy-to-remember short jokes, and our compendium of totally corny jokes. For more about dads (both funny and inspiring), take a look at our memorable list of dad quotes, or get Mom laughing with these hilarious mom jokes.
- I finally got around to watching that documentary on clocks. It was about time.
- Her: I’m leaving. I am sick of you wearing a different t shirt every half an hour.
Me: Wait. I can change. - Why does Sherlock Holmes love Mexican restaurants? They give him good case ideas.
- Why did Hitler wear eye glasses? Because without them he could Nazi.
- What did the Japanese cannibal eat for dinner? Raw men
- Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted.
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The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.
- What do you call a zombie who cooks stir fries? Dead man wok-ing
- Which bear is the most condescending? A pan-duh!
- What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make? Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
- Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.
- How do you get a country girl’s attention? A tractor.
- Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.
- What do you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller.
- What did the police officer say to his belly-button? You’re under a vest.
- What do you call it when a group of apes starts a company? Monkey business.
- My wife asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall” to her. I said maybe…
Funny Dad Joke
We’re not sure who invented the term “dad jokes,” but we know one when we see one. A dad joke is almost always pithy, and frequently corny.
- What’s the opposite of artificial intelligence? Natural stupidity
- Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner? No, you should just stick with turkey.
- What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
- Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
- Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you! You have my Word!
- 6 What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
- I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
- If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes.
- What’s an astronaut’s favorite candy? A Mars bar.
- I want to name my puppies Rolex and Timex so I can have watch dogs.
- Why did the bullet end up losing his job? He got fired.
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I wanted to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now.
- The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
- What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish!
- What do skateboarders do when they are really good? They GoPro
- I can kayak. Canoe?
- Why are toilets always so good at poker? They always get a flush
- Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands
- Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Déja. Déja who? Knock knock.
- What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.
- Want to hear a pizza joke? Nahhh, it’s too cheesy!
- What do you call a dog that’s been run over by a steamroller? Spot!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth A gummy bear!
- Why did the ghost go to rehab? He was addicted to boos.
- Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends? Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
Must Read
- What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet? Reali-tea.
- What do you call a naughty lamb dressed up like a skeleton for Halloween? Baaad to the bone.
- Want to know why nurses like red crayons? Sometimes they have to draw blood.
- What would the Terminator be called in his retirement? The Exterminator.
- What did Tennessee? The same thing as Arkansas.
- My wife asked me to go get 6 cans of Sprite from the grocery store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7 up.
- Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.
- Why do some couples go to the gym? dad jokes meaning Because they want their relationship to work out.
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What do you call an angry musician flipping someone off? A song bird.
- What’s the most detail-oriented ocean? The Pacific.
- How many DIY buffs does it take to change a light bulb? dad jokes meaning One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store.
- How many paranoids dad jokes meaning does it take to change a light bulb? Who wants to know?
- I read that by law you must turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden, but how am I supposed to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
- I was addicted to the hokey pokey…but I turned myself around.
- I don’t trust stairs. They are always up to something.
- Today, my son asked, “Can I have a bookmark?” dad jokes that are funny I burst into tears—11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.
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When I was a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing, but when I got home, the signs were all there.
- Why didn’t Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner? It was Chewie.
- Why don’t pirates take a bath before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore.
- Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
- Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell? He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.
- A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
- Did you hear about the guy who froze to death at the drive-in? He went to see Closed for the Winter.
- We all know about Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But have you heard of Cole’s Law? It’s thinly sliced cabbage.
